"Stay At Home, Mom!"

I realized something today-while at my 15 year high school reunion, I found myself telling people that I am a 'stay at home mom' BUT that I was also an organic gardener. I realized at church that I am totally buying into the cultural stigma that is placed on being a 'stay at home mom' (SAHM). Kristen's message was from the epistle of James, talking about favoritism in the church. She was encouraging us to not go along with what society dictates as acceptable, that we must love each other insteadof judging each other. I end up judging myself as a SAHM. Like I think it's not cool enough, or that I'm not 'living up to my education.'
So much of what B & I do revolves around me being a SAHM. He works 2 jobs, we've only got 1 car, and we're somehow making it, even though we live laughably below the poverty level. All so that I can stay home and G can be with one of her parents all day. But at the same time, I'm embarassed by it. I'm embarassed that I can stay in my pajamas until 11AM, that G and I can drop everything and have a tea party and walk to the pool. Maybe because it sounds so cushy, like I'm on easy street. It's ironic that we expend so much energy for something that I'm embarassed about. Especially since it's actually the hardest job I've ever had, and requires so much more wisdom, energy, patience, stamina, strength and humor than any job I've ever had.
Being a SAHM means that I am instantly "on", every morning as soon as my feet hit the floor, unless I get up way before G. I try to do this, just so I can have a bit of a morning without being at a two year old's beck and call. "Yes, your Grace!" I sound bitter, but I'm just being honest. It's definitely not all bonbons and Oprah. Having a baby totally leveled me, and being a SAHM is slowly and deliberately rebuilding me. How I'll look when the building is complete, the Carpenter alone knows.


Nori said...

I think having a child is one of the bravest things a person could every do, and that being a good parent is the most important job I can think of.

Rosa said...

thanks, Nori! It felt good to get that out of my system....

Read Your Way Through the Garden: Choice Tomes From Garden Literature

  • A Book of Salvias by Betsy Clebsch
  • Botany for Gardeners by Brian Capon
  • Making Bentwood Trellises by Jim Long
  • RHS Encyclopedia of Plants & Flowers
  • Rose Primer: An Organic Approach to Rose Selection & Care by Orin Martin
  • Start With the Soil by Grace Gershuny
  • Sunset Western Garden Book
  • Sunset Western Landscaping Book
  • The Book of Garden Secrets by Patent & Bilderback
  • The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Botany
  • the Gardener's Table: A Guide to Natural Vegetable Growing and Cooking by Richard Merrill & Joe Ortiz
  • The Gardener's Year by Karel Capek
  • The Hutchinson Dictionary of Plant Names: Common & Botanical
  • We Made A Garden by Margaret Fish

lotsa latin: rosa's botanical & etymological ruminations

  • vespertinus: flowers in the evening
  • vernalis:spring
  • veni vidi nates calcalvi: we came, we saw, we kicked butt. This was printed on a T shirt I bought at Abbot's Thrift many years ago. It encircled the NEA symbol. I wish I knew why.
  • superciliaris: shaped like an eyebrow ex: sturnella superciliaris, the White-browed Blackbird
  • rosa-sinensis: species of Hibiscus: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis. Lit. Rosa of China, so named by British plant hunters.
  • placentiformis: shaped like a cake ex: discocactus placentiformis
  • nudiflorus: flowers before leaves show ex: flowering quince, magnolia
  • nivalis: growing in or near snow ex: galanthus nivalis (common snowdrop)
  • muralis: growing on walls
  • mirabilis: marvellous, wonderful
  • formosa: beautiful ex: dicentra formosa, a.k.a.western bleeding heart/dutchman's breeches/lady in a bath
  • carpe vitam: get a life
  • Carolus Linnaeus: Latinized name of Carl von Linne (1707-1778), Swedish naturalist considered the father of plant taxonomy. Whatta guy.