3.04.2008

A Day In The Life.......of Lucy Arnaz?
The day was putting along uneventfully. G has gotten herself sick so we planned on staying home and being domestic. I didn't know just how domestic it was going to be, until a knock at the door threw me into 1950's American Housewife-land.
*****
I answered the door and it was.....(dum da dum) a man selling wholesale meat! Out of his white unmarked butcher's van! Outside the house, I sat, mesmerized as he opened case after case of frozen steaks, pork chops, sausage, chicken fillets and random seafood. It was surreal. I think the phrase "You look like a business woman" actually came out of his mouth as he proceeded to hawk his frozen meats on my porch. Did I mention he wanted to sell them to me by the case?! We tried to scan & upload the rinky-dink 'brochure' (tri-fold yellow 81/2 x 11) but our computer rebelled. So, I've transcribed some of it for your entertainment.
All American Steak & Seafood
"From Our Freezer to Yours"
**************
$50 OFF
YOUR NEXT CASE
THREE (3) CASE SPECIAL
BUY 3 CASES, GET 1 CASE FREE
FREE CASE
FAMILY SMART BUY
Purchase 9 cases at our special price
of $299.00 per case and receive a 15
cubic foot chest freezer absolutely free!
FREE FREEZER
*****
Which Eleven & B point out comes to $2,700 worth of meat. There's quite a long list of what I would do with $2,700, and as Eleven said, "a full body tattoo is higher on the list." Of course, with our frequent winter power outages, it would soon be more of a meat mausoleum than a chest freezer.
So, there I was with the Meat Man, and suddenly I felt like I was in the I Love Lucy episode when Lucy & Ethel bought a whole side of beef to fit in their new walk-in freezer, and Lucy got stuck inside, buried under an avalanche of steaks wrapped in white paper. And then they tried to get rid of it by selling them out of a baby's carriage in the back of a butcher's shop.
I am Lucy Arnaz...
I surprised myself by buying 1 box (6 boxes in a case) of chicken tenders, you know-the breaded little pieces of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. And you know what-they were good; not greasy at all, with nice white meat and a little pepper in the breading.
I half expected a power-shoulder suit-clad B to drive up in a Cadillac and start cursing my hapless attempts at housewifery with a Cuban accent.

A Revelation Via Wholesale Meat Commerce......

You know, I never thought I would buy meat from the back of an unmarked van, and it feels a little like a turning point. As I agreed on a price for the chicken and uttered the words, "Let me get my checkbook," I realized something about all those 1950's housewives. They are always portrayed as being so industrious and grown-up, like they were born making Apple Brown Bettys and darning socks.For the first time I thought, maybe they were just doing life too, folding laundry, taking care of sick kids at home (albeit without the soothing ministrations of the Wonder Pets), and buying stuff from traveling salesmen. Weird. I wanted to tie a kerchief around my hair and beat rugs or something.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Rosa-
OH-MY-GOSH! What have I always told you about buying meat out of the back of a van from strange men??? Thats right up there with don't drink bleach and don't put beans in your nose. Glad you seem to have escaped unscathed. Sometimes its the seriously random events that make life so interesting-
Please take care, dear Rosa-get well and don't make me come up there with a Little Mermaid coloring book.
XO-Mum

The other said...

Rosa, I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this story. Maybe the 1950's housewife only bought stuff from the traveling salesman because they didn't have the internet. It's all about acquiring what you need for your family without having to leave home. I am glad that you were not harmed from the chicken and that it was enjoyable. I am also glad that you did not buy a case of beef, because that would be a little crazy. The other

Melanie said...

FOTFLOL! The meat man has been here on Long Island too. I was in the pool with my little daughters and he came right through my breezeway. GET OUT! Now I have a fence :-)

I have a feeling I'm going to love your blog. Welcome to Blotanical!

Anna said...

I have laughed till I cried. You are a clever person. It will be fun keeping up with you if you live. People don't usually live that buy meat from unknown sources:)

Read Your Way Through the Garden: Choice Tomes From Garden Literature

  • A Book of Salvias by Betsy Clebsch
  • Botany for Gardeners by Brian Capon
  • Making Bentwood Trellises by Jim Long
  • RHS Encyclopedia of Plants & Flowers
  • Rose Primer: An Organic Approach to Rose Selection & Care by Orin Martin
  • Start With the Soil by Grace Gershuny
  • Sunset Western Garden Book
  • Sunset Western Landscaping Book
  • The Book of Garden Secrets by Patent & Bilderback
  • The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Botany
  • the Gardener's Table: A Guide to Natural Vegetable Growing and Cooking by Richard Merrill & Joe Ortiz
  • The Gardener's Year by Karel Capek
  • The Hutchinson Dictionary of Plant Names: Common & Botanical
  • We Made A Garden by Margaret Fish

lotsa latin: rosa's botanical & etymological ruminations

  • vespertinus: flowers in the evening
  • vernalis:spring
  • veni vidi nates calcalvi: we came, we saw, we kicked butt. This was printed on a T shirt I bought at Abbot's Thrift many years ago. It encircled the NEA symbol. I wish I knew why.
  • superciliaris: shaped like an eyebrow ex: sturnella superciliaris, the White-browed Blackbird
  • rosa-sinensis: species of Hibiscus: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis. Lit. Rosa of China, so named by British plant hunters.
  • placentiformis: shaped like a cake ex: discocactus placentiformis
  • nudiflorus: flowers before leaves show ex: flowering quince, magnolia
  • nivalis: growing in or near snow ex: galanthus nivalis (common snowdrop)
  • muralis: growing on walls
  • mirabilis: marvellous, wonderful
  • formosa: beautiful ex: dicentra formosa, a.k.a.western bleeding heart/dutchman's breeches/lady in a bath
  • carpe vitam: get a life
  • Carolus Linnaeus: Latinized name of Carl von Linne (1707-1778), Swedish naturalist considered the father of plant taxonomy. Whatta guy.